The following are verbatim quotations from Jack T. Chick tracts. All spelling and punctuation is from the original, including the occasional inappropriately-capitalized word. Any ellipsis shown is also from the original (Jack Chick really likes ellipses). Anything in [brackets] was inserted by me.
The expression "wafer god" is a slap at Catholics and the eucharist.
Some of these lines are spoken by the "good guy" in the tract; some are spoken by the "bad person" (the character who needs to be saved, and is resistant to one degree or another); and some are just narration, that is, it's Jack T. Chick talking directly to us, his audience.
[Contained in a thought bubble] I'M A LIAR! I LIE ALL THE TIME! Oh ... (gulp) ... I can't go to heaven ... I'm lost!
Are they Queers, Ms. Henn? [capitalization in the original]
If anyone tries to make you Gay, stay away from them!
ARE YOU READY FOR THE BOMB?
CAN I SHOW YOU A VERY SCARY THING?
But through the [Catholic] mass, Satan thought up a way to show Jesus as a continually dying Savior, or a "DEAD CHRIST."
These satanically controlled popes are antichrists, pretending to hold the position of Christ ...
Brothers and sisters, as you know, Halloween will soon be here. This is a very important time to our most holy and glorious father, Satan. This holy day was designed for us by our father so we can provide additional sacrifices to him.
The children who are mutilated and murdered every Halloween are no accident. They are carefully planned sacrifices to Satan, carried out by those who serve and worship him.
You're going to hell and Satan is laughing his head off.
But God made them [Adam and Eve] leave the garden because they did something naughty!
Communism was rebellious (against its Papal parent). So the Vatican created another strong daughter to bring communism to her knees. The Jesuits, with Vatican money, built Hitler's 3rd Reich to serve Pope Pius XII, not only to murder 6 million Jews but to whip the communists and convert them to Catholicism. Hitler lost the war. So the Vatican used another approach.
Doug, maybe the Watchtower is tied closer to the Vatican than you've been led to believe.
Evolution is the religion of scientists who laugh at God.
Get the lousy camel jockey!
Gideon is dead meat! Man, there's no way he could beat an army that big.
Then the dogs ate her body. GOD DOESN'T PLAY GAMES. Ahab and Jezebel both went to hell. As God watched Ahab and Jezebel ... God's watching us too!
ATTENTION READER: You've just been warned!
Hey man, this is outta sight -- he's killing his own brother!
Hi, I'm Reverend Ray and I'm gay! And Jesus loves me!
Hold the cat still!
I am a messenger from the damned! Here is the letter I was to deliver. It's from a friend ... in hell!
I want $22 million. Another million for a nude scene, and two million for a sex scene.
I was in the craft [witchcraft] once and I know these people mean business. They WILL kill you if they can.
Note: Police estimate between 40,000 to 60,000 ritual homicides per year occur in the U.S. (Dr. A. Carlisle - Homicide Investigation Seminar, Las Vegas, Nevada 1986). [Note: I estimate that these estimates are false]
If YOU believe in Evolution instead of Jesus, you'll end up in hell.
I'm very happy now. At one time I was gay, just like you.
In 1982, Dr. Rivera told me that the Jesuits carefully chose a Muslim to shoot Pope John Paul II ... to guilt-induce the Muslim world, bringing them still closer to the Roman Catholic faith!
It's against the law to talk about the Bible or God in school anymore.
Jesus hates secret societies because they're Luciferian and an abomination in the eyes of God.
Anyone entering the [Masonic] Lodge must deny Jesus.
Larry's mom said that to him, now she's in a concentration camp for ... CHILD ABUSE! Wanna join her?
Let's kill someone just for fun ...
No, incest and murder are my things.
The last pope will be known as the antichrist, or the Beast. Satan will enter his body, and he will be worshiped worldwide.
It is a documented fact that the Gestapo was run by the Jesuits, and that Hitler was a faithful Roman Catholic simply following the laws set forth in the Council of Trent.
NO! I serve Baphomet, the god of Masonry! You must worship me!
Beloved the heathen are going to hell! I just received a letter from one large Bible-believing church begging for $32,000 to pay for an organ. GOD HELP US! We play games while our missionaries sleep in mosquito infested trucks as they pass out Gospel literature.
Patriotism is a joke the dollar is dying Russia has overtaken us militarily our population is defenseless and the smell of war is in the air.
Promising freedom, Father Dominic preaches Liberation Theology, winning his Catholic followers to communism.
Samson had a few problems, but sometimes God uses strange people to accomplish great things.
PLAY TIME IS OVER - WE ARE NOW AT WAR!
Satan loves Halloween because it glamorizes the powers of darkness, drawing little kids into his camp.
Most churches have been successfully infiltrated by witches.
Satan's Pied Pipers, in these closing hours, are the heavy metal bands turning our kids into witches and warlocks.
When the devil bows before Christ, the Satanists will go insane. They will realize they were betrayed and throughout eternity they will gnash their teeth in pain and curse Satan in the flames of hell.
STOP ... don't kill our dog!
Unless I have a receipt in 10 minutes, I must put her to sleep.
Student unrest is spreading. Incidentally, have you read the black manifesto? If you did, you would be praying for revival! We received a phone call from a pastor in Hollywood telling of a rapid growth of black magic and witchcraft among teenagers - IN THE ATOMIC AGE? - YES! Have believers lost their influence? Antichrist movements are steadily gaining momentum!
Surrender all to Christ (sometimes 5 or 6 times a day).
THAT OLD HEN! @!!!*! She never leaves me alone! I hate her and her Jesus! I wish she was DEAD DEAD DEAD!
The "prophet" Mohammed did! He was a pedophile.
The demonic power behind the wafer god holds the people in bondage, making it very hard to leave the system.
The Lord Jesus has a special love for convicts ... even most of his disciples had prison records ... and most of them were executed.
The unbridled lust of the popes; intermarriage, pedophilia, incest and occultic murders - all this filth has been swept under the rug.
The world becomes one gigantic witches' coven. Satanism is already saturating the world.
Then according to Acts 19:19 you should gather up all your occult paraphernalia like your rock music, occult books, charms, Dungeons and Dragons material. Don't throw them away. Burn them!
They pushed God as far as they could, and Jesus sent fire bombs from heaven and fried their bodies.
Jesus created Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve!
High schools are passing out condoms like candy.
The Rock freaks are easy - they're ready to buy anything we want to sell.
One drag on that primo and you're mine, stupid!
To get even, [the Vatican] built a new machine called the Nazi Party.
Unfortunately, that [Masonic] lodge is controlled ... by Satan.
Dear Father, we never knew that Masonry was witchcraft.
We're gonna Rock, Rock, Rock Rock with the ROCK! [sung by a Christian rock band]
Witches rule! God is dead and the churches are powerless. Old "Bible boy" won't stand a chance against our black arts!
Yes ... God died ... Didn't you know that?
You stupid jive turkey!
You touch us and I'll cut you, Daddy! We wish you'd died instead of Mommy!
No, we don't forgive you ... because we hate you, Daddy!
You were seconds from the flames of HELL!
Your warehouses are PACKED with low-grade condoms.
He downed your drink and DROPPED DEAD!